christmas holiday & family..

when christmas time comes around, i start to think about family and past experiences with my family. my great grandmom passed away on christmas day, 2 years ago. every christmas, when i see my family, someone always brings up my grandmom and puts everyone into depression mode. especially my grandmom (great grandmoms daughter). so, my sister and i, get to my aunts every christmas for dinner all happy and excited for presents and family time and someone always has to ruin it. dont get my wrong, i miss my grandmom to death; its just sometimes i wish someone wouldnt bring it up.

i was only three when my parents divorced. i vaguely remember living with both my mom and my dad. im thankful that i was only three years old when they split, because if i were any older, i think i would have hated life more than i already do not having a normal family.

my family is complicating. i am the oldest of six children. six. not the normal son and daughter, three kids, not even two boys and two girls. i have three younger sisters and two younger brothers. my mom gave my dad two girls, (me and shelby), then my mom remarried and gave my step dad three kids (hayley, ryan and julia). then my dad had to go get married and gave his wife a son, Cole. I love my siblings all the same. it just annoys the hell out of me that i NEVER see my little brother Cole. he will be 2 months old on December 19th. hes been on this earth for almost 2 months, and i can count the times that ive seen him. i guess you could say that i have a sucky father for not inviting me over to see him, but i love my dad no matter what. i have to, right?

moving on..

he may get upset for bringing him up, but..oh well. i have the coolest boyfriend in the whole world. he makes me laugh when i dont want to..seriously. we have way too much fun together, even if were just sitting in his room starring at eachother. we'll just burst out in laughter for no reason and then we cant stop... but before i start talking about us, im on the topic of family. im sure theres things that only his family is a part of that is none of my business, and i respect that. but i absolutely love his family. to me, they are the best family ive ever met. they care for one another no matter what. they dont judge people, they dont forget about people. everyone is family. i feel thats how it should be. they remind me that christmas isnt just about the gifts and the food (well, my boyfriend cares about the food...) they remind me that christmas is for being together and spending time with eachother, and they just make me happy.

thanks boyfriends family (=

i guess what i'm trying to get at here, is that im realizing that its time for me to grow up. last year, i was 18 at christmas time and that is way too old to be worrying about the presents and the money and the material things. i am going to be a big girl and admit, last year thats all i was worried about. this year, im growing up.